Bearded Lady (Kindle Single) by Altman Mara

Author:Altman, Mara [Altman, Mara]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2012-03-06T23:00:00+00:00

***

So over the months since the doctor’s appointment and my last laser session, I was in a hair purgatory, not knowing my next move. Instead of just going moment to moment, working to eradicate each hair as it surfaced — though I did that, too — I began thinking more about this odd irony: To be a complete woman, I felt as though I had to get rid of a part of myself. But why? Why does there have to be all this shame and angst about something that’s a natural part of being woman? The pressure to be hairless has driven me to feel like I have to hide something from my fiancé, to spend thousands of dollars, to even feel less worthy than my female peers. For years I’ve been pretending that I don’t have something that I quite clearly have. That takes a lot of energy.

I like getting answers to questions, so I pretended to be an objective reporter and called up Allure Magazine. I asked to speak with the beauty editor, Heather Muir. To be honest, I disliked Heather before I even spoke to her. I disliked her because of what she represented, and also because her name conjured up the image of downy soft blonde hair on her thighs, the sort one doesn’t even have to shave. Also, even if I might follow some beauty customs set forth by magazines like Muir’s, I’m generally opposed to people imposing their subjective view on millions of women. I’m not usually into the Nazi analogies, but if the boot fits... It’s because of people like Muir that I’ve put myself through so much pain removing my hair over the past 15 years that if I experienced it all at once, it would likely be lethal.

“Overall you want to be presenting yourself as really groomed and well-kept and unwanted hair falls in that category,” Muir explained. “Maintain and take care of it to look your best and be polished.”

Listening to her kind of made me want to strangle myself.

“Why do you think we get rid of our hair?” I asked, trying desperately not to slam the phone down.

“We do it to feel better about ourselves,” she said. “And so we’re more socially accepted.”

This chick was definitely blonde. I could feel it. Or maybe Cambodian.

Muir used the actress comedian Mo’Nique, who showed up with hairy legs at the Golden Globes in 2010, as a warning. “It was so taboo and people were embarrassed and laughing,” Muir explained. “She’s an example of ‘Oh my gosh, I never want to be that girl.’”

Muir began talking about trends for the bikini and she quoted Cindy Barshop, who founded and runs the Completely Bare salons, which Barshop named after her own initials. The salons specialize in laser hair removal. Barshop was most recently in the news for PETA’s condemnation of her new fox fur merkins (also known as pubic wigs). Yes, in a paradoxical move, she wants you to rip off your own fur and then glue colorful feathers and animal fur to your genitals.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.